Driving Off The Road Map


I think like all of my old blog posts from my teenage and college years, I have to stay away until all hours of the night to be in a writing book. I wonder if it's the sleep deprivation that makes me more forthcoming and honest. 

When I sat down to write, I had to put some thought into the topic. I initially said that this blog would be a companion to the Patreon podcast. The podcast would focus on the technical and practical aspects of this whole journey, and the blog would cover the more emotional ones.

So while I would like to go on about all of the developments I've made with the Disney D&D project I'm working on, I'll instead save it for this weekend. Instead I'll mention that working on the project has been a bit of an emotional roller coaster.

When I first decided to make a go of it last year I specifically chose to wait until I went full-time to start on it. I figured that at the time I was barely managing to juggle my job, my channel, and my relationship, and that trying to take on a project like this would kill me. Yet I also wanted to make sure the project actually happened in 2018. So I set myself a deadline of May 2018, and planned out on a calendar how much work I would do every week.

In my mind it was all simple planning. I needed X quests written and X locations detailed and so all I had to do was divide it up and get to it. I figured a project like this, which is entirely new territory for me, would be as simple as slicing up the work and just doing it. As if the creative process is normally so clean and simple.

It is now the second week of February and I have no quests written, no locations detailed, no characters developed. So on that one hand I feel like a big failure. My genius plan on paper is not only behind schedule, it simply hasn't gone anywhere.

Now on the other hand, I've developed the core idea and the direction of the gameplay so much in just the past few weeks. The concept went from one that now feels cliche to one I love, and just this week I made changes to how I want the gameplay to progress, and it has me excited to do more. (As for what those changes are, that'll be for the podcast.)

So for as much as I feel like a lazy failure, I also don't. I get that the creative process isn't always going to be a clear cut map that I just follow from A to Z. Out of the seeming lack of progress I actually managed to take the entire project in a better direction. 

It's like a game of tug of war going on in my head. The Type A side of me is occasionally scolding me for not catching up to these arbitrary calendar reminders, and the Type B is telling me that it's OK and to just let it evolve naturally.

Either way, I am psyched to make it a reality for you all. I think this can be a lot of fun, and I think if I work on it even harder than I do my channel, it can have the potential to be even bigger than Rob Plays.